How it all Started

My first real memory is at 3 years old. It was November, 1963 and my Mother had driven to the end of the block and as we reached the stop sign on the corner, the radio announced that our President had been shot. I remember the energy shifting in the car. My Mother put the car in park and began to cry and wail. It was so scary and I had no idea what was happening until we circled the block and got home and family friends and neighbors began to call. Our black and white television set repeated the story over and over for days and weeks to come. There was two more dramatic events that same day. It was so confusing to see the chaos unfold at three years of age and not know why or what was really happening. It was my very first confrontation with trauma and it is embedded in my mind forever.

How could I have remembered something at such a young age? Because, no one was really paying attention to how badly this scared me and how frightening it was to see everyone around me cry and the only answer I got was that someone had killed our president. It was beyond my capacity to grasp at such a young age, but I felt the pain and I could see how the adults around me reacted. I had no way to communicate my fears to the adults and I sat alone in my fear. What if my Mother had held me and said to me that she was sad and that we were okay? What if we included children in conversations, no matter how young they are? I wish I had known that trauma can be passed down through three generations. I wish I had not passed these things on to my own son. But now that I know…I can talk about it. Maybe we could all just ponder on this to begin on this journey. What was your very first experience with trauma? Have you told anyone yet?

Until next week, think on these questions Write them down and keep a journal. Or just write them down in a letter.

You are not alone.

Published by heidilkrause

I am a self taught artist living in the Midwest. I am also a Reiki Master and Vibrational Soul Healer. I love to paint, draw, cook, bake, sew and be in nature every chance I get. I guess you could say...I actually enjoy life every moment of this life. Much love and healing to YOU.

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